Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy
Biographical information

Earth Planet

Date of birth


Physical description
Alternate Mode

Black (with Pepsi logos) Freightliner FL86 Cabover Semi



Sensor color

Dead Black

Personal information



Arbitrary Autobots, Munkys


Black Repaint

Chronological and political information

Bored Fish era



"Destroy life… to the MAX!"
— Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy

Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is the most powerful of the Customercons while, ironically, not actually being one. He was created by accident when Franklin Delenor Roosevelt Minicon III, earl of ToeJaAm used the Deus Ex Machine on Fishimus Prime. At the time, Fishimus had overloaded on Warm Flat Black Fuzzy, which resulted in the creation of an evil, soft drink-fueled clone.

Just as Fishimus Prime is a force for good and brightly coloured shirts, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is a force for evil, meaness, bland colour schemes and soft drinks. To his flat black eyes, the world is too bright and must be destroyed, replaced with a new one where only black, white and some shades of grey are permitted to exist. All other colours are too neon.

Ruthless in pursuit of his goals, Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is a creature of malice and rage. He lives to battle and revels in destruction, enjoying the thrill of battle and crushing his foes underfoot. He gives no quarter and fears no man or bot. His degree of ruthlessness and power is such that he even gave Napoletron pause, and stands as the only being to ever give the Emperor of Destrucity sass and live to tell the tale.

In fact, he’d probably be the most powerful Transformer ever (or, at least, in this continuity) if not for his one crippling weakness. He can only speak in clipped soft drink advertising slogans.


Black Crystal Pepsi Convoy is superlatively, hyperbolically powerful. And evil. He’s so evil, he hoses down his enemies with a giant bottle of soft drink. Wow. That is evil.

Behind the Scenes

  • I fully expect TomyTakara to release this as a limited edition any day now. Really.

No, srlsy.

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